The Eyebrow Post

So I had promised you a post about my eyebrow incident...Your agonizing wait is over. Yesterday I took a close up look at my face in the kids' bathroom. The kids' bathroom, in case this wasn't already made evident by the name, is not the same bathroom that the Zipper and I use. It has entirely different lighting, mirror positioning, wall color etc.... You wouldn't think this would make any difference, would you? Well, I am here to tell you, it does. If you, like I do, do most of your primping, pruning and applying in front of the same mirror all the time, the view in another mirror is alarmingly different. Take your rearview mirror for example. The next time you are in your car (not while driving), crank that mirror over and take a look. You will see hairs, pores, freckles that you didn't even know were there! It's a nightmare!! Anyhoo...I wasn't in the car, just the kids' bathroom. And what I saw was clearly my Scottish eyebrow heritage. (see Susan Boyle). I raced to my bathroom, got my trusted tweezers and went to work. Over the years I have tried many hair removing methods; I have had things waxed, shaved, tweezed, threaded, epilated and even electrocuted. Nothing works. It all grows back. In some cases with a vengeance unlike anything you have ever experienced. Sometimes less so. Either way, as a woman, this is a never ending daily maintenance program that I did NOT sign up for but am stuck with until I am in my eighties and hairy moles are overlooked and my appearance in a bikini will be (hopefully) less frequent. The thing is, I am not sure what all this hair is even for. I mean, I know that ear and nose hair is there to stop things from falling in {them} and I guess that the hair that is located, ahem, under a bathing suit, loosely serves the same purpose, but what is all the other hair for? It's not for cushioning against falls...I mean, have you ever fallen on your armpit? It's not for warmth...No one has ever claimed to have warmer feet because they have let their big-toe hair grow in...so why? Anyways, I did get my tweezers (which, you should know, are the one thing aside from my children that I will take with me when I have to evacuate my home in the middle of the night) and went to work on these stray hairs. For the time being, all is right with the world. But as any woman knows, these suckers grow back. In your sleep, on an overseas flight, underneath hats and bangs and scarves. If your eyesight is poor, you are one of the lucky ones. You can't see them, so it's like they're not there. But if you are like me and you have delectably perfect eyesight, then my only advice is to give in. Resign yourself to a lifetime of squinting, scrunching and tweezing. You'll feel better once you accept it. Oh, and keep a set of tweezers in the car.